Im currently working on a script that I hope to be my first short film to be entered into the short film circuit. It deals with a man who is schizophrenic and has anxiety disorders that keeps him from leaving his home. Here is an excerpt from my script that i was hoping to get some feedback on. And i just wanted to get it out there because i tend to procrastinate and not follow through, i feel like if i put it out there, i may follow through with finishing it.
I hope to highlight the struggles of mental illness with this script, and the way it devastates a whole family. Please let me know what you think and what i may need to work on. Thanks!
Hey There Fat Boy 
Good Luck! I am sure you will do great
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Fantastic. I am sure it will be great
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I’ve never known anyone personally, as in a family member, with mental illness but I do know that it’s not something that goes away overnight. It’s hard on everyone involved. We had some patients that suffered various disorders and a couple of them would not even leave their homes for funerals NOR doctor appointments. I had to go to their homes to check on them. Of course you didn’t want to know all of this lol. You’re doing great, keep up the good work.
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I sincerely hope you continue with this script. You are a talented write and always forcefully grab my attention with your excerpts!
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Great job! Keep up the great work.
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Good Luck! I am sure you will do a good job.
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Good luck. I am sure it will turn out awesome.
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Great! I am sure you will do a good job. I am sure your writing skills will make the script in to an amazing short film. Wishing you Good luck in advance.
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I really like it so far. And i can only imagine the lengths he’ll have to go through to get his damn chicken broth.
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I think it’s an important subject that needs more attention and it would be wise to finish it and publish it. This subject is still taboo in some circles, so getting the word out in a creative endeavor is imperative.
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